the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
