Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
