I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
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He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
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I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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