When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Two words: blizzard sex
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
