if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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