We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
