So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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