Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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