4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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