the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
