i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
