a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
