He kissed a someone with a penis
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
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we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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