he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
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He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
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Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
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