i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
