So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
This toilet bowl is my home.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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