I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
