Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
