My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
