He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
