He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
