Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
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