around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
