I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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