She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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