Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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