Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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