i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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