if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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