I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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