Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
