If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
