Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
