Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
