it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
