If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I came so hard my ears popped.
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