do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
