Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
We are all done wearing pants today
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life