I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Some milfs here doing some blow
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"