She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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