Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy... http://tfl.nu/fupk
  Replies (7) Good night (1179) Bad night (2683)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row. http://tfl.nu/asli
  Replies (141) Good night (4113) Bad night (1328)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart. http://tfl.nu/xlbc
  Replies (37) Good night (7090) Bad night (1789)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle. http://tfl.nu/il9h
  Replies (33) Good night (8235) Bad night (1568)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror http://tfl.nu/xej5
  Replies (17) Good night (5228) Bad night (1321)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information. http://tfl.nu/61w8
  Replies (6) Good night (4725) Bad night (940)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver. http://tfl.nu/zig6
  Replies (6) Good night (1211) Bad night (2328)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done. http://tfl.nu/9ur9
  Replies (1) Good night (1690) Bad night (1122)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning. http://tfl.nu/2vwb
  Replies (11) Good night (2546) Bad night (1034)
• Favorite

  (587): View more from Alberta

  My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (587): My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween http://tfl.nu/z2rb
  Replies (15) Good night (3471) Bad night (1296)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees http://tfl.nu/l68t
  Replies (6) Good night (782) Bad night (1003)
• Favorite

  (737): View more from Texas

  Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (737): Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner. http://tfl.nu/o0od
  Replies (5) Good night (1541) Bad night (758)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets http://tfl.nu/hmgm
  Replies (3) Good night (1866) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper... http://tfl.nu/b471
  Replies (5) Good night (493) Bad night (1201)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security. http://tfl.nu/su6q
  Replies (9) Good night (1356) Bad night (489)

Randomize