Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
and i looked up. we had an audience...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?