Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"

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  (805): Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore" http://tfl.nu/y23i
  Replies (2) Good night (1287) Bad night (797) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  "women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc

  (1-201): View more from New Jersey

  damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy

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  (201): "women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc (1-201): damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy http://tfl.nu/c3kq
  Replies (29) Good night (2434) Bad night (519) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral

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  (954): so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral http://tfl.nu/k9rx
  Replies (31) Good night (4495) Bad night (513) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997

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  (217): Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997 http://tfl.nu/gfc1
  Replies (34) Good night (1100) Bad night (4912) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight

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  (419): if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight http://tfl.nu/1a1e
  Replies (11) Good night (3662) Bad night (789) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.

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  (503): Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter. http://tfl.nu/kpej
  Replies (15) Good night (5179) Bad night (1021) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.

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  (716): When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex. http://tfl.nu/mu23
  Replies (14) Good night (3681) Bad night (913)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.

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  (843): Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots. http://tfl.nu/fa6e
  Replies (1) Good night (1894) Bad night (810) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.

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  (609): She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew. http://tfl.nu/vnvf
  Replies (27) Good night (4417) Bad night (1288) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.

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  (207): Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover. http://tfl.nu/jzfa
  Replies (2) Good night (468) Bad night (1183) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...

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  (607): I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street... http://tfl.nu/0y14
  Replies (11) Good night (1254) Bad night (306) Order T-Shirt
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  (323): View more from California

  but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"

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  (323): but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA" http://tfl.nu/kezs
  Replies (2) Good night (609) Bad night (291)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened

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  (904): show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened http://tfl.nu/zata
  Replies (3) Good night (808) Bad night (438) Order T-Shirt
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.

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  (506): Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it. http://tfl.nu/c7ua
  Replies (5) Good night (349) Bad night (477) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?

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  (781): Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station? http://tfl.nu/6qox
  Replies (5) Good night (516) Bad night (249) Order T-Shirt

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