So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
