they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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