we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I need to stop coming to work sober
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
