Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize