nut hugger
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
