i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
