shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
