You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
