physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
two words: eviction party
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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