Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
