Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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