Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize