she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
