i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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