never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Rumble strips road head = magical
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize