Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
